


Roleplaying 101

by LoveChilde



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 1, Community: purimgifts, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 06:11:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveChilde/pseuds/LoveChilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With two members of the team on desk duty due to injuries, Eric breaks out the dice and pencils for some improvised D&D at the office. It...Does not end well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roleplaying 101

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sandyk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/gifts).



“Aaand...Sam’s down.”

“Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me!”

“Nope, sorry man. You’re unconscious.” 

It was a quiet day. Enforced, mandated quiet, as both G and Deeks were on desk-duty following injuries on the team’s last case,and both their partners were hovering worriedly around them. On top of all that, it was a rare rainy week in LA, and by the second day of being cooped in the office, everyone was going a little stir-crazy. 

Until Eric and Nell pulled out the dice and papers and somehow talked everyone into playing some improvised, no-rulebooks D&D. After about an hour of that, G started to think that maybe filing would have been preferable, even with three cracked ribs and a busted wrist. 

“Why am I unconscious? It was one miserable arrow! I’ve been shot with arrows, they don’t kill that easily. And they don’t knock you out.” Sam argued, jabbing an irate finger at his character sheet. 

“You’re a wizard, you only have 5 hit points.” Eric explained for the third time. 

“Crunchy wizard.” Deeks grinned and ducked to avoid a swipe by Sam, wincing when it jarred his newly-relocated shoulder. “What? Wizards are fragile. You’d better go heal him, Kenz.” 

“Why am I the healer again?” Kensi scowled at her partner and shifted the pages of her character sheet, looking up stats. 

“Because you’re the chick, chicks are always healers.” Deeks replied promptly, and this time didn’t quite duck out of the way when she swiped at him. “Ow. It’s true and you know it.”

“If it’s true, then how come Nell’s an amazon?” G asked from the other side of the conference room table, and Deeks glared at him, Spoilsport. 

“A barbarian.” Nell corrected. “For the same reason you’re a druid and Sam’s a wizard, we wanted people to play something a bit removed from what we all do day-to-day, you know? So I’m the barbarian, Eric’s the half-ogre, and Kensi’s the cleric.” 

“How is being a thief any different from what Deeks does usually?” Kensi rolled some dice. “Heal three hit points, Sam. You’re back on your feet.” 

“Thanks.” 

“I would have you know I’m a police officer. That’s exactly the opposite of a thief.” Deeks bristled. “Also, I’m not a thief, I’m a rogue. That’s the closest thing to a ninja in this system. I’m spry and agile and feisty.”

“Ok, I see how that fits with us all playing things which are unlike our real selves.” Kensi smirked, and Deeks huffed an aggravated sigh. “Ok, fine, Sam’s back in action, now what do we do? Someone shot at him, we need to figure out who, right?”

“It was possibly the soldiers you now see running towards you. They look an awful lot like the city guard.” Eric, who was doubling as dungeon-master, placed some tokens on the table to show the positioning on the soldiers. 

“Do we want to attack the city guard?” Deeks asked quietly, while Nell was already rolling her attack stats and rushing towards them, two-handed sword swinging. 

“What’s my best tactical weapon here?” Sam fumbled through his fairly limited spell list. 

“Magic missile, but...Yeah, you take another arrow. You’re down again, unless you’re healed in the next turn, you’re dead.” 

“Again? Wizards suck. Who’d ever want to play one?” Sam scrunched his character sheet into a ball absent-mindedly. 

“You’re just playing it wrong. Spells are like specialized weapons, you just need to be versatile with them.” G thought it was a pretty easy system to grasp, and despite minor teasing about playing an elven druid was managing his spells pretty well, but he just couldn’t see why they’d want to play at fighting when actually doing it was both fun and useful. “Uh, I’m...animating the plants?” 

“No plants, you’re in a stone corridor.” 

“Animating the stones?”

“Any second now you’re going to have to animate me, G. Wanna do something about it?”

“Sorry, Kenzi got a full healing spell list so I skipped that part.” G shrugged, philosophical. “Been nice to know you.” 

“Seriously?”

“...And that’s when the henchmen killed Sam, Deeks backstabbed Kensi, Kensi cast a plague-spell on Deeks, and the whole thing just fell into chaos.” Eric finished his explanation, looking glum. “Somehow, G was the last druid standing. i think he cheated.” 

“It wasn’t cheating, it was using what I had in the most efficient way. Spell lists are just tactical options.” G called out from the other room, where he was back to cleaning guns after the group scattered, some less happy than the others.

“I see.” Hettie managed to look down at Eric, something she was quite adept at despite being over a foot shorter than him. “Mr. Beale, may I suggest that next time you want a team-building exercise, you play Risk, or Monopoly? Something simple. With clear-cut rules and the ongoing fate of the world at risk.”

“I’ll...take that into consideration.” Eric nodded, frowning. “Hey, maybe Board Game of Thrones would work.”

Hettie sighed. ‘I’ll go hide the edged weapons. Do as you see fit.”


End file.
